Space Dementia
by R0ckR0s3
Summary: You are not alone. You are never alone, even if you want to be. I have just as much blood on my hands as you do, the same guilt, and the same shame. Set before the 50th anniversary, after Amy and Rory died. Muse x Doctor Who. A bit.


**Hi there! I started a series about my wild imagination. Please do realise that I am Dutch, trying my best at English writing but don't expect me to be Shakespeare. Advice is always welcome, though! This is also my first fanfiction. :)**

**I do not own Doctor Who or Muse.**

As I heard the cracking sound of the floor underneath my feet, my face caught some sunlight as the endless gray-colored clouds let it peek through. It was the first day of spring in Germany, even though it was a little late for spring officially started the 21st day of March. Today, the days were nearing the end of April. The ice and snow made a place for grass, and new life to be born. It would have sounded strange if I said it out loud, but I somehow felt the earth turning, spinning around itself, and dancing with the sun and the moon. It wouldn't matter if I told anyone. Most of the time, Magdalena didn't allow me to meet new people. She was too frightened, because she didn't want anyone to know I was not normal. Sometimes, I would've sworn she wanted me to be normal. And besides, there was no one who actually understood me, ever.

Today, I was seven years old. At least, I had been living with Magdalena for seven years. How old I really was, nobody knew. I didn't grow like the other children in Berlin. To be honest, I never grew at all. All that ever made me age, was when I was three years old. Because when I was three, I still had the body of a newborn baby. She took me to a doctor, a doctor I saw every week, measuring my improvements. But even he never understood me. One day, all of that changed. More questions began to drill Magda's head. My body did something no human had ever done before. There was a strange bright light glowing around me, and within a few seconds, I looked 10 years older. Magdalena was scared, shocked, she forbade me to ever speak to other people, or ever go outside. No one would ever know the secrets about the mystery that was me.

It was early in the morning, the sun had just risen and Berlin had barely woken yet, for it was only twice I meant to spot some men walking to work. In the cold winter that cursed middle Europe this year, no single child wanted to play outside. Neither did anyone bother to casually hang out on their boats, drinking and laughing as it seemed like a tradition in this old city, where everyone was welcome and nothing would matter. Germans were the kindest people I had ever known. So might it actually be that they were the only people I was ever allowed to see. The window in my room was up high and barely noticable. But I could see almost all of our street, and the small river we lived next to, the Spree. I could see the children playing outside, the boats softly blowing and floating through the water, I could see the city alive. It was nice to see people with such innocent lives having fun, fooling around. Waking, working, getting drunk, and falling asleep again. They were people who were not like me. Humans they were called, and so did Magda call me. She wanted to believe I really was her child, her own perfect little daughter. The only problem was, that I was clearly not.

My bare feet continued to walk the old wood as I arrived at the window, and opened the glass object. I tried to reduce the noise by opening the window slowly, but the cracking sound slipped through my fingers. It demolished the beautiful morning silence like a wrecking ball on a glass wall. I was hoping I didn't wake anyone, and luckily I succeeded. The silence returned, and I let the sunshine into my room. A sigh rolled over my lips. An unintended sigh, as I closed my eyes and let my skin meet the fresh sunlight. The beautiful year of 1930, starting to wake up.

Standing there, the urge to step outside to explore the Berlin streets began to take its toll. Doubtfully, I turned my back to the window, and slowly moved myself to the staircase, opposites to the room Magda was sleeping in. I looked down, and my curiosity got a little smile on my lips. Knowing the fact I was definitely not allowed to do so, I walked down the stairs making as less noise as possible.

Safely landed on ground floor of the narrow house, I glanced at the river reflected the sunlight. Wanting to look more closely, the search for my shoes began. Longer than I wanted to, I stressfully threw every object in my way on the ground. The antique supplies were all just junk to me, even though Magda loved to show them off. It made some noise, but at the moment I really didn't care anymore. I was getting out of this place, no matter what.

After hopelessly searching through the house, a strange little box hidden behind the curtains caught my attention. I didn't know why, but it was as if the object was calling me, even though it was just an ordinary box. It was covered with a lot of dust, and as I blew the thick layers of gray matter off, it was noticeable some strange circular codes were carved in the wood. I beheld the strange figures, and while I did my curiosity urged me to lift the cover, thus opening the box. As I assumed, it was not empty. It contained a pocket watch and a very old piece of paper that was folded in half.

First, I took the paper from its place. The same circular drawings as there were on the box were written on this piece of paper as well. I frowned, as I put the paper back in the box and reached for the pocket watch. I studied the shell, in which I discovered the same marks as on the box and in the paper. My curiosity was going mad. I wanted to find out what this was. Why was this hidden? What were these marks?

Not long wanting to wait, I clicked the button on top of the watch, knowing this would open the watch. Magda had many of these, and I always found them fascinating. But this one was different, very different.

Ironic, isn't it. A stupid ordinary watch. It's only function to show mankind whether it was already time for the grocery's or not. I had no idea. I would never consider this one click would have changed my entire existence forever. In a split second, everything was clear. It all made sense now. A bright light flashed in my eyes, whispers filled my ears. Suddenly I let go of the existence of Esmay Braun, the unknown mystery in the big city of Berlin. I felt like a piece of me that was missing had finally returned, and set me free. No more did I have a vision of the room I was standing in. It was like a daydream overwhelmed me. I heard voices, a crying child, and strange voices screaming "exterminate !" There was one whisper that repeated itself, saying "Beware of the nightmare Child" and every time I heard that, it was like my head could explode any second. In my head I was screaming, but I couldn't make sure I was making any sound. The whispers continued " Time Lord of Gallifrey," "Pandorathyeliacelester, Rassilon's failing experiment." Second by second, I started to find these things familiar. And within time, I understood the universe. The light disappeared, but I could still feel it. Inside me, burning and retracing my long lost memories.

My name is Pandora. I am a Time Lord. I escaped the Last Great Time War, and this is where my story comtinues.


End file.
